The Siam Satirist: Government to disband Thailand’s National Anti Corruption Commission after Prawit acquittal

Thailand’s government decided on Monday to disband the country’s highest anti-corruption body after a ruling on Saturday which found Deputy Prime Minister Prawit Wongsuwan not guilty of corruption for possessing several luxury watches worth over US$1 million.

In the ruling, the National Anti Corruption Commission said that General Prawit was not guilty of any wrongdoing, corruption or malfeasance because he was just “borrowing the watches from a friend.”

When asked about the decision, government spokeswoman Narumon Pinyosinwat told the Siam Satirist that there was, “no point” having the body around any more as corruption was now a thing of the past.

In a rare move, the opposition parties have said they will not protest the government’s decision to dissolve the NACC.

“This move is one that all politicians can welcome,” said one Pheu Thai politician.

“The ruling means we no longer have to hide our assets in overseas holdings anymore. We can reveal the truth, our houses, our cars, our handbags, even our mistresses are merely borrowed from our friends. We’ve been dying to tell the truth.”

Deputy Agricultural Minister Thamanat Promphan immediately released a statement after the government’s decision saying that the drugs that he smuggled to Australia which led to his imprisonment in Sydney were borrowed as well.

“I have a clear conscience in staying in the government because the drugs were borrowed and the jail time was unjust,” the statement read.

Several MPs from both the ruling coalition and the opposition have revealed new assets previously unreported to NACC since the government’s ruling.

The politicians told reporters that all these possessions, which previously went undeclared, were borrowed and that they had given up all material objects to follow a Buddhist way of life and live in a sustainable and ‘sufficiency economy’ way.

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[This is Fake News. Because some people fail to spot the difference between reality and satire, this disclaimer is necessary.]
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