Siam Satirist: Insider trader quits stocks for police force for better impunity, more lucrative options

Insider traders in Thailand are quitting the stock market to join the police force after the assets of Thitisant “Joe Ferrari” Uttanapol were revealed to the public this week.

Thitisant made headlines for gagging and killing a drug suspect with a plastic bag. He was given special privilege by the national police chief and allowed to address the nation in a surreal Thursday night press conference. (Read more here)

Thitisant’s apparent nonchalance and deep pockets appears to have unintentionally inspired many to join the police force.

“Look insider trading and manipulating the stock market is lucrative but all that work and my nickname is only “Mercedes Steve,” said illegal trader Aowngern “Mercedes Steve” Namsakul.

“I want to be Ferrari Steve and the only way I can do that in this country is to join politics or the police force.”

According to Mercedes Steve, he chose to join the police force because of better immunity and even if he killed someone, his popularity would still be higher than a politicians.

“They can arrest me anytime if they found out I was doing insider trading but join the police and you can be rich and kill someone in broad daylight! My kind of music!

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